The Role of Victim:

. Here are some examples of the behavior and thinking of a ‘victim’.

1. A ‘victim’ is someone who believes they have no control of their life

2. A ‘victim’ believes that he/she can do nothing right

3. A ‘victim’ believes that no-one really cares for them

4. A ‘victim’ is always negative

5. A ‘victim’ is waiting for someone to rescue them

6. A ‘victim’ puts pressure on their partner to make everything all-right for them

7. A ‘victim’ opts out of life

8. A ‘victim’ is fearful

9. A ‘victim’ is insecure

10. A ‘victim’ is usually depressed or anxious

11. A ‘victim’ feels under constant threat of something bad happening

12. A ‘victim’ sabotages positive thinking and behavior

13. A ‘victim’ is distrustful

14. A ‘victim’ waits for disasters to occur

15. A ‘victim’ will have emotional problems

16. A ‘victim’ may turn to drugs or alcohol as a means of escape

17. A ‘victim’ will be isolated from friends and family

18. A ‘victim’ will withdraw from real life

A ‘victim’ in a marriage/partnership relationship sucks and drinks the energy of his/her partner. A ‘victim’ is a ‘bloodsucker’ draining his/her partner of energy, enthusiasm and drive. The ‘victim’ is negative and/or can’t be bothered to do anything constructive for themselves so they rely on a partner or anyone else to give them what they want, at any cost. He/she will surrender control of his/her life over to their partner in the hope that their partner will make everything all right. Being a ‘victim’ requires hard work on his/her part to stay the same in order to ensure that there is no change to their life. There is, and will not be any progression out of the ‘victim’ state until his/her partner stops doing things for them. A ‘victim’ has taken a long time to be this way and will be extremely reluctant to surrender his/her role. If you are living with a ‘victim’ or are a ‘victim’ yourself you will know that by opting out of responsibility and accountability you are, in effect, the controller of the relationship, albeit a negative controller.

Here are some examples of how a ‘victim’ reacts:

• The victim will be at their partner’s mercy

• The victim will smile when they want to cry

• The victim will pretend that everything is all-right

• The victim will tip-toe around their partner all the time (treading egg shells)

• The victim will do their partner’s bidding – no matter the consequences to yourself

• The victim will give-up on themselves

• The victim will experienced suppressed anger and frustration

• The victim will become non-descript

• The victim will have a low self-esteem

• The victim will block out emotions

• The victim will believe they are unloved

• The victim will live their life flat-lining